The latest victim of a road fatality is Mr. John Doe
Squirrel who was killed on Escape Road on
November 16, 2007
Today, in his ongoing search for his winter stash of food, Mr. John Doe Squirrel scurried across the street and almost made it to the other side of the road had he not stopped in his tracks to pose in Mr. Nine-to-Five's headlights who left work punctually at 4:59 PM and sped along Escape Road at 5:02 PM at which time precisely Mr. John Doe Squirrel traversed the road to meet his fatal end.
Fondly remembered by many as "Wings" for his daring high wire acts, Mr. John Doe Squirrel leaves behind his faithful partner Mrs. Jane Doe Squirrel, his triplet sons, twin girls and sixteen grandchildren. Family and friends are encouraged to attend a memorial service which will be held at Tree 37 in Chestnut Park tomorrow morning before rush hour.
~ Miss Mo Rose
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