Today, I was just about to avoid that mid-afternoon call when I decided against my better judgment to answer the phone on the last ring. A telemarketer -- what a surprise! I had to endure the usual mispronunciation of my last name and after three attempts of correcting the verbal butchering of my name, I gave up and before I knew it, I was listening to the sales script.The special offer this time was coming from an insurance company which was offering women coverage for cancer.
The sales script went something like this: Was I between the ages of 18 and 55 and did I know that the risks of being diagnosed with not only breast cancer, but cancer of the fallopian tubes, cervic cancer, skin cancer, lymphoma, cancer of the... [suddenly depressed, I began tuning out].
The tone in the telemarketers voice shifted from serious to hopeful when she went on to describe the exclusive offer they were pleased to offer me today and today only. I would receive x dollars for medication, x dollars for a leave of absence from work, x dollars for hospital coverage, x dollars for my family members should I die and did I know that...
Two and a half minutes into the one-way conversation and I was already six feet under. I had to interrupt the doomsday telemarketer, but was nice enough to be polite about it. I declined giving the reason of having life insurance and extended medical care benefits.
She was ready for my objections and desperate to sign the deal fired back with, "If you stay healthy and don't get cancer, we refund all of your money. Do your other insurance companies offer this?"
Hey lady, let me first figure out how not to get cancer and I'll call you back, okay?
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